Damaged At Best
by xlearntofall
Summary: Steve has always found Kono attractive and even though recent events have brought them closer he's never thought much of it. But when Kono arrives at 5-0 headquarters one morning with life-changing news, will he be thinking those thoughts over?
1. Chapter 1

I made my way to the surprisingly quiet kitchen, breathing in the fresh Hawaiian morning air. The path of light illuminated through the glossy windows from the sun danced on the hardwood floor as if it were making a route for me from my bedroom to the kitchen. Upon reaching the kitchen level I was expecting to see Kono at the stove. Ever since she had to evacuate her house temporarily for a surprise asbestos case I was kind enough to offer her a spot in my home. Obviously she knew the only reason I would ever reach out my hand to her in such drastic measures is because I promised her, as her boss, I would take care of her. Never in my life did I ever think those words would turn out to be so literal. However, she was still my teammate and whether it was Danny or Chin I would probably do the same. After all, we were a team.

"Kono?"

There was no answer. "That's weird." The familiar smells of cooked bacon with scrambled eggs on the side and a couple slabs of sausages on the side usually accompanied by mornings with a warm smile. However, this morning there was no warm smile to greet me. "Kono?" I called out, desperate to know where she went. There was never a day during her stay was she not in the kitchen preparing me breakfast against my will as the host of the house. Hesitant, I came to the conclusion she probably went down to headquarters early for whatever reason there could be. "She's a big girl. She could take care of herself."

So for the first time in a long time I sat myself down at the kitchen table and ate breakfast alone. The only difference between this breakfast and all the other breakfasts from the past month and a half is that Kono was not sitting across the table from me sharing whatever stories she had on mind. She was an incredible conversationalist. She was the type of person who could keep a story going forever and you would not get tired of the sound of her voice. I loved how she always had something to say. I never knew one person could make a typical monotonous morning routine so much more entertaining.

When I was finally done with my meal I grabbed my car keys and headed out. As I was locking the door to my house I felt the right pocket of the dark denim jeans I threw on this morning begin to vibrate. Turning to walk down the path toward the parked car in my driveway I reached in my pocket only to find Danny's name lighting up on my screen. "What?" I asked in annoyance as I opened the door my car.

"What's so bad that you sound like you hate me so early in the morning?"

I sighed plopping down into the driver's seat and turning on the engine. "Maybe 'cause I know your face is the first thing I'll be seeing this morning which is, unfortunately, in a couple minutes."

"Oh, yeah. That's the worst," he replied sarcastically. "Hey, wait. What about the rookie? Don't you, like, live with her now?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. She wasn't here this morning. She probably headed early."

"Yeah, probably. She did say she had something to tell us once we all got to headquarters today."

I paused for a bit, confused. "When did she say that?" I asked curiously as I backed out of the driveway and found myself cruising down the road.

"She never told you? Or left you a note, at least?"

I stopped to think, wondering if I passed by any unread notes this morning. Maybe she left something for me on the fridge, or the counter, or even my bathroom mirror, but I was too blind to see. After a bit I shrugged again. "Oh, well. It's too late now. That might explain why she left so early. I guess we'll just have to find out once we get to the office," I said casually. But in all honesty, I was really curious as to why she left so early. She should have at least texted or called me to let me know. I mean, she of all people should know I am practically oblivious to the world in the morning.

"Alright." And with that he hung up.

The rest of the trip to work was casual. I've been down this route so many times it has become a second nature to me. I could be dazed the whole drive and still make it to 5-0 in one piece. Well not really, but I can imagine I'm superhuman like that sometimes. I mean, I am a SuperSEAL. I might as well live up to the name. At different points during the drive I caught myself thinking of Kono. Out of all days why would she choose such a random day to give the team an announcement? I wonder if it was good or bad news. Or, was it good for her but bad for us? Or vice versa? Eventually, I gave up. I was two minutes away, I might as well find out for myself.

Once I finally got to headquarters and headed inside I was not surprised to see Danny and Chin in different parts of the building setting up for the day. Chin turned in time to greet me, "Hey, Boss," from his position in front of the computer where he usually was.

"Morning," I replied. "Where's Kono?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. That's what we were both wondering," he replied, gesturing to Danny behind the closed door to his office where he was arranging a stack of manila folders on his desk before getting up to meet with the rest of the team. Well, minus one. "I haven't heard from her since her text."

"She texted you?"

Chin chuckled under his breath. "She's my cousin. What do you expect?"

"Don't worry. Steve-o's just sad 'cause he never got to see her this morning," Danny joked as he approached us with his infamous smirk.

Chin glanced from Danny back to me. "But you live with her, don't you?"

Danny's arms flailed out in a 'that's-what-I-said' gesture. "Exactly."

"I don't know. Maybe she figured she was going to see me here anyways so there was no point." It's true. It wasn't like we were married. I did not have to know where she was or what she was doing 24/7 because I know she would never want to know what I was doing more than half the time so technically we were even. "She knows what she's doing."

Just then, as if on cue, Kono entered the room with the biggest smile I've ever seen on her face.

"There you are. I missed you this morning," I half joked. True, she has only been a temporary part of the McGarrett household for a little over a month now, but she has definitely marked her place. Even Mary Ann didn't mind her presence which meant a lot to me since she can be quite judgmental when it came down to things. "Breakfast wasn't the same without you."

She giggled, smiling her cheeky smile. "I'm sorry, Boss."

"So, what did you have to tell us, Cuz? And whatever it is the look on your face tells me it is pretty damn good," he said, amused at the expression plastered on his cousin's face. She took a breath in preparation. And that was when my casual morning turned into something I never expected.

"I'm getting married."

I was silent. Both Chin and Danny were pulling her into warm hugs and sharing congratulatory words. I, on the other hand, stood where I was as if an invisible pair of chains had shot up from the ground and bound themselves around my feet, pinning me to where I stood. It's not like I wasn't happy for her because I was. I mean, who wouldn't be happy about a close friend succeeding in their love life? But even though I was honestly really happy for Kono, I wasn't as ecstatic as I should have been. Instead of congratulating her and telling her I was really happy for her I was just standing here like a complete idiot.

"Hey, Boss. What's wrong?" Kono asked after finally being able to come up from air in between the tight squeezes she's been getting from Chin and Danny.

I glanced back at her, finally catching her focus. I could see the other guys staring at me curiously from the corner of my eye. I cleared my throat as I casually strode over to her with my arms outstretched. I put my hands on her toned shoulders, firmly gripping her as if making sure she wouldn't escape from my line of vision. I peered into her brown eyes with my blue ones and tried to show her how completely genuine I was trying to be. "Kono…" I said as I trailed off getting lost in her expectant gaze. "Kono, I am so happy for you. Really, I am." I was cast with relief when I saw tense glint in her eyes soften to one of content. But looking back on my words I could not help but wonder if I was trying to convince myself those words were true rather than her. I shook those thoughts away immediately and pulled her into a passionate embrace. She deserved every bit of love out of me and I needed to make sure she got what she deserved. "I am so happy for you, Kono. I wouldn't want anything better for you," I assured her.

She sighed in bliss, obviously thankful for my kind words. "Thank you. It means so much to hear you say that." She dug her face into my chest. I could feel her warm breath tickling my skin from beneath the barrier of cloth I wore. After a while she finally let me go and smiled as she took a step backward to look at our team as a whole. "Thanks, you guys. It makes me so happy to know you guys accept me."

"Why wouldn't we? You're our rookie, no matter if you're going to be a married woman in…"

She shrugged. "I don't know. Charlie and I haven't really discussed that part, yet. We were kind of lost in the moment with the engagement and all," she giggled.

"You know, maybe you should have just stayed over at Charlie's last night instead of coming back over to my place," I blurted out. I wasn't sure what caused me to say it or why I delivered it so rudely, but it was too late to take it back now. Besides, it was half true. She should not have had to take the time out of her day to come back to my house after probably spending one of the most incredible moments of her life with Charlie just a couple hours before. "It only makes sense."

"What would make you say that?"

I sighed, buying a brief amount of time trying to find a sensible reason to back-up my previous statement. "Well, don't you think he would suspect something if you knew that you and I were sort of living together? Because I would," I said, gesturing to myself as if I was good enough proof as a credible source.

"Charlie knows about my situation. Plus he knows you would never try anything on me. You're like an older brother to me so it might as well be like hooking up with Chin," she explained.

Chin groaned. "Ugh. Bad example, Cuz," he grumbled as he covered his face with his hand, shaking his head. Danny chuckled in response to the lighthearted atmosphere that hovered over the room.

I nodded. "Yeah," I chuckled under my breath. "You're like a little sister to me," I said, nudging her arm lightly. "Mary Ann loves you." I gave her as honest of a smile I could give her at that moment. She nodded her head, amused at the 5-0 team.

"God, I love you guys. I honestly don't know what I'd do without you," she admitted with a sentimental look on her face. "And I would love to stay and chat, but I have to go meet up with Charlie real quick."

"Wait, what do you mean you have to go meet Charlie?"

"I'm sorry, Boss, but he wanted me to have breakfast with his family unless you mind. I figured since nothing was going on today I would have taken this opportunity to impress his parents. I'm sorry. I should have let you know sooner. I swear I can—"

"No. You know what? It's fine. Go have fun," I said. "It's the least I could do."

Once she finally realized I was letting her go despite the fact she was supposed to be on duty, she smiled eagerly and pulled me into a spontaneous embrace. "Thank you so much. I'll see you guys later."

"See you, Kono," Danny called as walked back toward his office.

Chin gave her a salute goodbye and returned to his position in front of the computer.

"I'll see you," I said as I watched her run out the door in excited. I have never seen her so happy before. I chuckled, amused at how giddy she was today. But at the same time I couldn't help but feel a twinge of guilt scratching at my core from the inside. I was still feeling really iffy about not being over the moon about her engagement to Charlie Fong. He was a great guy and he definitely made Kono happy. Whether it was because of the fact I've always been really adamant about change or not, I didn't know.

"What's up with you, Boss?" Chin called from where he was typing rapidly. "You seem off today."

It took me a while to process Chin's words in my brain to which I immediately replied, "Nothing. Don't worry. I think I just had a weird morning." I shook my thoughts away from the problem at hand. I really needed something to distract me from whatever this was in order for me to be able to focus on my work. I could not put my finger on it, but whatever it was it was eating me from the inside. Whether it was because of Kono or not, I was not willing to accept any of it no matter what I might have told her.


	2. Chapter 2

Seated behind the wheel of the frozen engine I heaved in a giant breath of air while the people of Hawaii passed me by. Whether it was by foot, bicycle, or car they all seemed to be leaving me behind which was exactly how I felt at this moment. Ever since Kono announced her engagement this morning I've caught myself a victim of thoughts I never thought I would be associated with. Being the youngest I assumed Kono would have taken her time trying to settle down with a husband and a family, but I guess I was wrong. Everyone else on the team either is or has been successful in their love life. Most of them have even reached the point of marriage, or almost did. Chin's been engaged, Danny's divorced with a little tyke riding behind him, and now Kono's been thrust into the world of maturity and holy matrimony. This meant I, Steve McGarrett, was the only one left. You would think someone like me would have had a line of ladies waiting to wed me, but I guess I've just been too busy with my life leading the 5-0 to even stop and try to find the perfect girl for me.

Maybe Kono's engagement was a sign. I was running out of time. In a couple of years I doubt I would still have the face girls would be dying to get a piece of. After all, even the best fall down sometimes. Even the people on my team would be leaving me behind to have warm discussions about how their significant others were holding up or how their kids were doing while I'll be left in the corner with nothing to say and no experience in that field at all whatsoever. "God, I hate this," I mumbled to myself.

After the events from this morning had taken my guard down and knocked me off of my pedestal everyone thought it was best I take the rest of the day off. They all thought my head wasn't into it today and I guess they were right. Since Kono's words got to my head I have not been thinking straight. Perhaps it was 'cause for as long as I've known her I've only ever seen her as Kono, the rookie. She's never given me the impression that she would ever be caught be dragged down by a husband, no matter how great of a guy Charlie was. If anyone could land a girl like Kono you would have to be pretty incredible. Kono has always seemed like an independent woman to me. I mean, the first time I ever saw her she was delivering love taps to all who got in on her wave. She can definitely hold up with the big boys, that's for sure. It takes a lot of talent to be the only girl on a team like ours. I guess the Kono she was just grew on me. It didn't help that we were living in such close quarters for the past month or so, but there was no avoiding it. When a friend is in need, you have to be there to step up to the plate. As a SEAL you had to know when you were needed and when you simply needed the initiative to be there to back up a comrade in need.

For now I'll just settle on the fact that I'm not used to seeing Kono with a guy. Obviously I've seen her around guys, but I meant the kind of guys she looks at like the way she looks at Charlie. In all honesty I kind of wish she was able to show me that side of her. I wish she was able to look at me with that sort of love in her almond eyes just once. Was it because she's been the most recent sort of interaction I've had with someone of the opposite sex in a long while? I don't know. Maybe it was. Either way I am just going to have to suck it up and accept the fact that life was moving around me just like it was now. People pass by to get to their own destination all the time. Life does not stop for anyone and I should know that more than anyone. After all, I've learned it the hard way.

Just then my phone began vibrating against the pocket of my denim jeans again. Lazily I reached into my pocket and latched onto the device thinking it was Danny calling about something stupid again. Without daring to check the name that lit up on the screen I pressed the phone against my ear and greeted the person on the other line with an abrupt, "What?"

"Well sorry, Boss, I didn't know this was a bad time," a female voice responded with a hint of sarcasm underlying her casual tone.

For a moment my eyes widened. "Kono. Sorry, I thought you were Danno for a second."

She giggled. "Um, isn't that why they invented caller ID? It's not the 90's anymore."

"Of course. If it was still the 90's the notifications on my pager would be non-stop," I retaliated lightly to which she began to laugh meaning my three second role as comedian was a complete success. "Anyways, why'd you call? I thought you'd still be out with Charlie and the Fongs," I continued. I wasn't sure if I was just overanalyzing everything this morning, but I could have sworn I had bitter taste in my mouth when I mentioned her husband-to-be's name. I just hope she hadn't noticed.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Is this a bad time?" she asked, the tone in her voice slightly worried.

"No. I'm not really doing anything right now."

"Alright. Chin informed me how you left work early today so I was just making sure."

I chuckled, hiding the fact that I was concerned whether or not Chin mentioned the details of why they found it necessary to send me home so early in the day. "What are you, my mother?"

"Aw, isn't that cute. The SuperSEAL is trying to be sassy with me," she joked. I could hear her smiling from the other side of the line. I know it has only been a couple hours since I last saw her, but I really missed that smile. It always found a way to brighten my day, or anyone's day, in the slightest bit at the least. "Anyways, I just wanted to check if you were home."

"Um…" I trailed off knowing for a fact that I was not even close to home at this moment in time. "I'm around," I continued, lying. The moment I got into my car after Danny and Chin sent me home to sleep off whatever the hell made me act so out of character this morning I revved up the engine, drove off, and haven't looked back ever since. The only reason I was parked beside a tourist attraction right now was because I got too tired to drive around anymore. Nothing was going the way I wanted this morning and I felt like I just needed to take a break from everything for a while. Kono's call was what thrust me back into reality, taking me back to where I was and where I needed to be. "I can be home if you want me to be, though. I don't mind."

She was silent for a bit as if unsure of how to respond. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah. Definitely."

"Alright. Then how soon do you think you can get home?"

I stopped for a moment trying to figure out where the hell I was to begin with. I glanced around from behind by car window and checked for any familiar streets or monuments before answering. "In about twenty minutes. I can call you to let you know when I'm close."

"No, it's fine. I'll just be at the house."

I paused for a moment. "Alone?" I asked suspiciously. She's officially with Charlie now. I doubt with the engagement having happened just a couple long hours ago I would have suspected she'd be out with her girlfriends and family celebrating the first step towards the rest of her life. Why would she want to care about my well-being anymore? I didn't know if I was just being bitter about the whole thing for whatever sensible reason there was, but I simply cleared my throat and pulled my focus back to Kono. "Do you need something? If you want we can just do it over the phone."

"Do you just not want to see me?" she asked me innocently, her voice strained in the slightest bit.

Her question had taken me aback. "No, I didn't mean it like that. All I was trying to imply was that I didn't find a reason for you to wait around for me. It's not like you ever did before…" I said, unaware.

There was a brief beat before she began I heard her voice on the other line again. "What do you—"

"You know what? Never mind. I don't think I'm thinking straight today," I interrupted, not wanting her to speculate any further. It was one of those moments where it seemed as if the more I kept talking and defending myself the worse I was making it for me in the grand scheme of things. I sighed, giving up any hope of trying to fix the last five minutes of my life. "What I'm trying to say is my home is your home. You know that. I can still come by if you want, but you don't have to wait for me to give you permission."

She was silent for a while. During those few seconds where neither of us spoke my mind began to wander to Kono and what her side of the line was like. What did she think was going on with me today? If I didn't know what was wrong with me then I didn't know anybody would. But Kono on the other hand knew me. She worked with me, sure, but I meant she 'knew' me as in we've been living together for so long I feel like she could define and recognize every action, gesture, or facial expression I made and link it back to something that was tugging me from the inside. She has always been really observant, a really good trait to have in an occupation in the criminal justice field. There were, however, pros and cons to everything. She may have a keen eye for the little things often overlooked by the common man, but I had a fear she could sense me out during the times when I really don't want to be identified. Right now was one of those times. Kono was one of those people I never wanted to see me with my guard down. I promised her I would protect her at all costs. She was supposed to see me as strong and supportive. There should never be a need for me to take back those words and have the tables turn on me.

"What if I don't want your permission? Maybe I just wanted to sit at home and talk like we used to."

The sound of her voice had surprised me. It was silent for what seemed to be an eternity in my eyes that I had forgotten she was even there. I feared that I was thinking so much to the point I might have accidentally slipped out a few words that would have let her know she has been clouding my mind incessantly with thoughts of her. "But wouldn't—"

"I have the rest of my life to spend with Charlie. Besides, he's out with the guys right now."

"… okay. I'll be there then." And that was when I hung up. With that I revved up my engine, pressed my foot on the gas pedal, and peeled out of wherever I found myself toward home where Kono was waiting for me. Even though I still felt extremely iffy about the tenseness in our conversation, I felt lighter with each mile that passed by knowing it was bringing me closer and closer to home. Could this mean it was Kono? I couldn't be too sure and frankly I didn't really care at this point. I was just happy to know I was getting back into the part of my routine that made me the happiest: Sitting around in the comfort of my own home with Kono telling me the best and worst parts of her day. But to me every part of her day has somehow always ended up becoming a highlight in mine.


	3. Chapter 3

After driving around aimlessly for twenty minutes from the tourist attraction I had found myself parked on the curb at I was able to maneuver past all the obstacles of unfamiliar Hawaiian territory to a more comfortable route, one I have familiarized myself with countless times from the life I spent living here. It was a steady drive, but the pressure of the beats my heart was making inside my chest gave me the impression of an internal earthquake overwhelming my body. I wasn't sure why my heart was racing the way it did. All I was going to do was see Kono. Perhaps every mile wasted on my tank back home was a hesitant step closer to the future I felt I wanted to distance myself from.

Obviously she will be coming into headquarters every morning like scheduled, but maybe it was the fear that things were not going to remain the same once she officially became a married woman despite how much I constantly tried to grasp the important things in life and attach myself to them in order to keep things running in status quo. Maybe that was what I was so overworked about: the thought of change. However, being a SEAL you would expect someone like me to be able to work around and adapt to the constant changes occurring in my life. But a SEAL's life is completely different in comparison to the life I live now in terms of the personal aspect of it. I was trained to expect the worst and never break character. Perhaps I should start training myself to stop getting so easily attached to things. After all, almost nothing ever remains the same as time passes. Change is practically inevitable.

As I turned into the driveway of my home, a mixture of contrasting feelings overwhelmed me. I could not understand why Kono wanted to see me so badly. She had Charlie now, after all. I knew the potential engagement had marked itself a route in my brain, but I didn't expect it to come so fast.

I parked the car in its usual spot, yet I couldn't compel myself to exit the car and walk into the house. So many things were jumbling around in my head at once I couldn't concentrate on using my body to get me where I needed to be. Just then the gentle tap on the driver's side window brought me back to the front of my house in the front seat of a still car. I turned my head to check out the owner of the sound even though I knew who it would have been.

And there she was.

"Kono. Hey," I said casually as if her watching me sit in the front seat of my car for the past five minutes was done on purpose. "I was just about to go inside."

"Yeah, right," she replied knowing fully well I was lying through my teeth, but the smile that danced on her lips reassured me it wasn't the end of the world. "I just wanted to make sure."

I waited for her to shuffle to the side so the car door would not end up having direct contact with her petite body once I finally decided to open the door. She had changed outfits since the few minutes she spent at the 5-0 headquarters earlier that morning. "You look good," I commented, giving her a brief once-over as I ushered her to the door. "How was breakfast with the Fongs?"

"It was really great actually. At first we wanted to wait 'til the middle of breakfast before we decided to give them the news, but we were just so excited we couldn't hold it in. They were just as happy as we were. This morning has been absolutely amazing so far," she replied, practically in one breath.

I nodded, acknowledging her period of bliss but still falling short of what she probably would have expected from me. Luckily, she was too distracted with her own happiness to notice. "That's really great," I said in mock enthusiasm. "I'm happy for you. Really. I am."

She peered up at me, her eyes glazed with delight. The whites of her teeth flashed at me as I slowly turned the door open, letting the both of us inside without releasing her gaze from mine. It took a few minutes for her to speak up seeing as though she was contemplating on the right words, but when she did it felt like something was pressing up against my chest from the inside. "I don't remember ever being this happy in my life." I didn't know why I kept feeling as uncomfortable as I did the more she went on about Charlie, but I certainly couldn't confess that to her. Now was not the time to bring her down.

I offered her entryway into the house as I nodded casually. "I can tell." 

"God, Steve. It just feels amazing, you know?" she asked with no real intention for an answer on my behalf. "Once you finally experience this at some point in your life you'd understand."

I chuckled almost inaudibly, watching her make her way over to the couch where plopped down gracefully with her floral summer dress flowing back in all the right places. At that moment I couldn't help but notice how absolutely stunning she looked with the way the streaks of light from the afternoon sun lit up her petite body in a way that seemed almost too picture perfect.

"You make it sound as if I'll be alone forever."

"Steve, I didn't mean it like that. You know that," she said in defense. "Besides, I'm surprised you haven't even come close. The ladies are usually all over you," she joked.

I chuckled, shaking my head. "Do they? I don't notice," I said sarcastically. Obviously I did notice the way they were always putting themselves out there for me, but I could never find the time in my schedule to actually pursue a serious relationship. I tried to maintain a relationship upon being urged into the 5-0 by the late mayor after my father's death, but Cat just wasn't the right one for me.

Kono smirked, unfazed by my poor attempt at sarcasm. "Come on, Boss. Stop kidding yourself. You're smart, handsome, and the fact that you're a cop just adds some brownie points."

"Thanks, Kono. But, I don't know," I said as I plopped myself down on the couch beside her. Just as I released my weight onto sturdy fabric the fresh scent of a fruity aroma filled my nostrils leaving me at complete ease. It was Kono's smell and it couldn't have made me feel any more at home. I shrugged, trying to find the right words to explain the reason why my love life has been in a constant downhill slump. "I just don't know," I finally started. "I guess I'm just not finding what I'm looking for."

"Well, in this world it's impossible to get everything you want. That's why it's your job to make the best of everything you can get," she stated matter-of-factly.

I glanced up at her from my slumped position, straightening myself out without leaving her alluring gaze. Those pools of brown that sparkled in the reflected rays of the sunlight through the sparkled windows accompanied the comforting words pouring out of her mouth. 'Goddamn, she's beautiful,' I thought.

Her face suddenly scrunched up in confusion, her eyes turning dull in the subtlest way. "Excuse me?"

My face dropped. I could have sworn I thought those words in my head, but the muddled expression on her face told me different. "The girl I've been looking for. She's beautiful," I said, trying to cover up whatever the hell just happened a few seconds ago. An uncomfortable warmth had seeped under my skin and I could feel my heart beat so rapidly I was afraid she could hear it from where she sat.

"I can only imagine," she smiled, reassuring me she didn't notice my blunder. "There are a whole bunch of beautiful girls out there for you. After all, we're in Hawaii."

I nodded, chuckling to myself. "Yeah, I know. But this girl… she's beautiful in a way that's natural. I mean, there are tons of girls who go around with heavy makeup caked on their faces and they're beautiful too, no doubt. But I want a girl who doesn't have to try so hard to impress anyone."

She giggled. "It sounds like she's on the right track so far. I approve."

"Thanks," I mumbled. "Your opinion means a lot to you." That statement was no half-truth. I truly did respect her opinions on the things that matter the most in my life. I trusted her with my life just as I had promised her to trust me with hers the day she missed her graduation at the police academy. The only disadvantage that came with being so close to a person like Kono was that with her sharp observation skills she was able to hint out the thoughts that jumbled inside my mind, especially after being forced to live in close quarters for so long. We've adapted to each other on a level that only we could comprehend. "So, um, why did you want to meet me?" I switched the topic instantly.

Her smile faltered in the subtlest way, leaving her silent for a few moments. I was worried I had triggered something in her that had thrust her away from the lighthearted moment we were sharing just a few seconds before. She caught my eyes with hers, a friendly glint still aglow in her porcelain-like irises, with a hint of hesitance cast over her at the same time. "Steve, can I ask you something?"

I nodded at her expectantly. "Yeah, of course."

She sighed. "Do you think Charlie is the one for me?"

I glanced down at her with a look of concern. "Shouldn't you know the answer to that question?"

Kono shrugged her shoulders in response. "He makes me happy. He truly does, but…" she discontinued whatever she was planning to say, rising to her feet and fixing the wrinkles in her dress. She crossed her arms immediately as if in contemplation. "I don't know," she admitted. "People get caught up in these moments all the time. Charlie is an amazing guy. I've known him all my life. But will I really feel this way in twenty or forty years from now? If I get married I want it to be with the right person the first time."

"Do you think maybe there's a reason why you're already having doubts this early in the engagement? Usually you don't start thinking about these kinds of things until you start living with each other."

She loomed over me, her arms still crossed. "Steve, this is no time for jokes. I'm serious."

I sighed, giving up any attempts to lighten the mood. I briefly placed my hands on my thighs to ease my way up to my feet until I stood the regular four inches above her. I looked down at her, "I'm sorry, Kono. But I don't know why you would ask me of all people. I'm the last person anyone should ever ask about relationship problems."

"Because you know me almost as better as Chin does," she blurted out. "And that means a lot because Chin has been there for me for as long as I can remember." Instead of fearing the fact that we were close enough to be able to sense the other like I had not too long ago, she was embracing it and expecting me to take the opportunity by the horns and charge. But at this time moment in time it was impossible to read her when my mind was being clouded with my own set of complicated thoughts.

"Kono—" I started until I interrupted myself. "I honestly don't know. I'm sorry. All I can tell you right now is that Charlie is great and if he makes you happy…" I sighed, unsure of why I felt so hesitant to spit out the next few words. "… then you deserve everything he gives you. And I'll accept that."

She let out a breath and smiled as if she had been holding it in, waiting for my answer. "Thank you." She uncrossed her arms and slowly approached me so we were practically chest to chest. Her smile was subtle, yet genuine. "I'd accept any answer than no answer. I appreciate you for trying," she continued, the dimples in her cheeks deepening in a way that I found extremely attractive.

I brought a finger up to a loose strand of hair that had fallen onto the front of her face from behind her ear and brushed it back to the side. "You're beautiful. And you deserve all the best," I mumbled so that if there were anyone else in the room, her ears would be the only recipients.

She suddenly brought her arms around my large frame and pulled her body close to mine, the warmth of her breath making my skin tingle. It only lasted for a few seconds before she pulled away, but those few seconds had caught me completely off guard. I don't remember being this taken aback in the simplest for a long while. Her subtle acts of comfort were like a breath of fresh air that I wanted to keep breathing in with no restrictions. The only problem was she had Charlie for good this time. There was still the potential of them breaking up, but the fact that she had given him her word when he gave her a ring was like a less-than-official commitment before matrimony. As she released her hold from around my waist, she gave me a small peck on the cheek and flashed me a cheeky smile as I looked down at her in awe.

"Well, I better get going. Thanks for coming here from wherever the hell you went this morning for me."

I gave her a small smile. "I'll always be here for you, no matter what it is." With that she made her way into the guest bedroom where she's been living for the past month and I couldn't help but watch her for as long as she remained in my view. I could have given myself the opportunity to look away and go back to doing my own thing, but I couldn't. My guard was down and she was the only thing that my mind could focus on at that moment.

While I was glad I was able to help her out in her brief dilemma, I couldn't help but feel a sense of disappointment in myself. Be it the way I couldn't help her out to the extent she expected me to from the perspective of a close friend, or the way I wasn't able to confess how I really felt about the whole relationship as a whole without leaving her heartbroken. Either way, I did what I could and if she was truly happy with where she was at in her life then I had no other choice but to accept things the way they were. Yet, at the same time I couldn't help but feel like it was my job to make at least one thing in my life go according to plan. And, despite the circumstances, there was still time to make some altercations to the script.


End file.
